How would you recognize him?

A sheriff interviewed blond recruit Chad for deputy. Asked what 1+1 is, Chad said “11,” technically correct. For two days starting with ‘T,’ he answered “today and tomorrow,” surprising the sheriff. When asked who killed Abraham Lincoln, Chad admitted he didn’t know. Told to think on it, he bragged to friends he was already on a “murder case.”

A policeman asked two drunks where they lived. The first said “nowhere,” and the second added, “We’re neighbors.”